“the last announcer plays the last record. the last watt leaves the transmitter, as it goes dark. that last watt goes off around the world in search of a listener. then, off into space. into motherfucking space. alien civilzation, in 10,00 years you will hear the end of radio. alien civilization, in 10,000 years, i apologize for radio. alien civilzation, in 10,000 years, my deepest regret is radio. can you hear me now?”

in the past 365 days i’ve gotten to see godspeed you! black emperor, pavement and shellac. when you actually leave your house and venture out into the world, good things happen. i’m just finding this out.

had i stayed home september 2, 2010, i never would have seen steve albini in his trout t-shirt lean menacingly over his microphone and eviscerate the young drunk girl who easily could have been drawn to life by daniel clowes himself.

through various interviews and especially that video of him talking about the harmonic percolator pedal whilst on stilts, it had seemed that albini had mellowed through the years. he seemed almost affable. then, this drunk girl.

every few songs or so, bob weston would take questions from the crowd gathered. “what’s your favorite record of all time?!” “when is mission to burma gonna play around here?!”

then, this drunk girl.

she asked a nonsensical question about fish, there was some back and forth confusion between the stage and this young lady, and it ended with albini stating back in montana they call trout “crick bacon”. a smattering of laughs and on into the next song.

twenty minutes later, more questions. “who are you must looking forward to seeing at all tomorrow’s parties?” “what are shellac’s feelings on silly bandz?”

then, again, this drunk girl.

drunk girl: this isn’t really so much of a question as like, just an apology. cause i was like, looking at you, but i thought he was talking and um, so yeah. i just wanted to say i was sorry.”

weston: uhhhh, yeah. no big deal. any other ques…

drunk girl: i’m just saying, cause i’m just like a really polite person…

albini: CLEARLY YOU’RE NOT A POLITE PERSON BECAUSE YOU KEEP FUCKING INTERUPPTING HIM

drunk girl: but i’m just saying cause i’m…

albini: WOULD SOMEONE STUFF A FUCKING COCK IN HER MOUTH AND SHUT HER UP?

(at this point me and jeremy grab each other by the shoulders and start jumping up and down like pre-teens at a justin beiber concert because we’re getting to see an albini meltdown)

weston: dude dude dude, whoa. we can’t say that kinda stuff here, we’re at babeland

albini: OH, I’M SORRY. PLEASE, WOULD ANYONE BE SO KIND AS TO POLITELY STUFF A SPARKLY JELLY DILDO DOWN THIS GIRL’S THROAT AND SHUT HER UP?!

there was part of me that felt bad for this young lady. she clearly had had far too much to drink, and she was clearly the type of girl that is accustomed to fawning praise and lots of attention at all times, and perhaps that combination led to a unnecessarily harsh scolding from mr. albini.

then we saw her after the show chatting up weston and touching his arm in a too familiar way and whispering things in his ear, and knew all too well that this girl simply had no respect for herself and she deserved everything she got.

then a couple weeks after this show, steve gave an interview in which he tore apart and shit all over sonic youth.

perhaps this girl inspired a resurrection of the asshole deep inside steve albini.

thanks, drunk girl.